“Dave, why do you never butter the toast to the edges?” I remember my older brother asking that morning long ago. It wasn’t, “Thanks for making my breakfast.” Or, “I see you are saving butter.” No, my brother was challenging my innate stinginess. I was saving butter by only buttering the center, and leaving the edges dry. You see, I grew up poor. The child of parents who lived through the Great Depression, who eked out a living around spinal fusions and working in the fields, I was part of a family that always worked but never seemed to feel like we had enough. Oh, I don’t remember being hungry. We had great fun. It was just that I learned to be conservative on everything…which is a nice way to say that I learned to be stingy. I perfected this into a lifestyle so much that one friend once said, “Faith is believing in what you can’t see. I do believe that Dave Grant does have a wallet!”
Lately, I realize that I’ve been selectively stingy. I am generous in some areas, but stingy in others. God taught me to be generous in giving through the discipline of tithing (with remarkable results). God taught me to be generous beyond the tithe by asking Him for more to give (called a Faith Promise). I’ve been overgenerous with my time, particularly when it came to work. I would “butter” my schedule to the edges, planning appointments for every hour, with barely time between meetings and appointments for a breath. I actually planned no margins in a day. And, except for cancellations or “no shows”, I would have had no time for taking care of the work generated by those meetings. My image of my early marriage was of me running across the church parking lot, dragging my wife and children bumping on the pavement behind me. Or, as I often said, I would “outrun my headlights.” I’d go so fast that I ran into things before I saw them. “Buttering” my life to the edges produced a pressured, grumpy spirit in me and robbed my family of a cheerful father and husband.
As I confessed, I’ve been selectively stingy. While “buttering” my schedule to the edges, I would be stingy with myself or figure out the tip to the exact penny so as to pinch every penny possible. However, God convinced me that He is generous and that He wants me to be like Him. So, I’ve been working on changing from stingy to generous. I try to recognize those who serve me with a tip beyond the perfunctory 15%. I try to say “good work” to those I see going out of their way. I linger after the previous customer leaves to thank the clerk who had comforted the child instead of making a big deal out of the broken glass. Just yesterday God gave us an appliance we needed to replace. Now I have an opportunity to pass on generosity. In fact, I’m hearing God’s voice about several ways to butter the toast to the edges.
