A Large Tree

Their boundary went from Heleph and the large tree in Zaanannim, passing Adami Nekeb and Jabneel to Lakkum and ending at the Jordan.

It’s right there in assigning the inheritance--when the sixth lot came our for Naphtali in Joshua 19:33, it lists a large tree in Zaanannim as one of the boundary markers for their inheritance.  The tree was so large, so distinct, that it could be used as a marker. 

Sometimes God uses people we know like that.  They become larger than life, markers for future generations, showing people where the boundary is, where God’s assignment is placed so people won’t forget.  Some people show us where God’s place for life is found.

Larry and Sandy Miller were like that.  I say “Larry and Sandy” because you can’t conceive of them as two, but as one.  They were a “they” in a world of “ me’s”.  What happened to make them a "they"—these two people from painful and difficult pasts, who met singing Karaoke?

Larry and Sandy entered my life in the December of 1999.  A friend of theirs who attended our church asked me if I could do their wedding.  They wanted to get married on the last day of the millennium.  So, time was of the essence.  Normally I wouldn’t do a wedding without the required pre-marriage sessions to help them get started right, but Larry and Sandy assured me that they would follow up with ongoing classes with Darrell and Betty O’Kelly.  Then I learned about their background.  They were part of their friend’s Amway business, and there you learn a big part of God’s preparation for Larry and Sandy’s ministry:  They had learned how to apply the “3 foot rule”, and transferred what they learned from business to the King’s Business.  The “3 foot rule”?  If you get within 3 feet of me you are going to hear about what is important in my life.  How they practiced the 3 foot rule is why you all knew them so well.

But I digress—back to how they began meeting with Darrell and Betty.  Darrell and Betty were modeling ministry for them, how to be around people and pour into their lives.  And, then Darrell and Betty laid down the mantle, passing it on to Larry and Sandy.  The Millers felt they weren’t “ready”, but took on the role of being spiritual parents to many people and marriages in and outside our church.  When the church melted Marriage Ministry into community home group ministry, they led a home group. Larry, with Sandy supporting him, became enthusiastic about a men’s ministry called “Chosen to Lead” (CTL for short).  Most of you knew him for his enthusiasm for men getting their lives straight for God, making God’s Word the controlling and most influential part of life, and doing things God’s way.  They continued to pour their lives into couples and be generous to others.

Larry and Sandy were faithful, available, and trainable.  At one point they made time every other week for 6 months to review materials with me and to grow in their understanding of new directions for our church ministry.  It was a mark of their faithfulness that they learned “new tricks” and willingly adapted themselves to a new environment. 

My last conversation with Larry and Sandy was a couple Sundays before the slide.  They recounted to me how God had led them in helping move someone to another city in Washington.  I was struck by Larry’s bold directness and generosity.  He was willing to speak directly into a life at the point of what they needed, but not what they wanted, at great personal financial cost.

And now they have entered heaven before we were ready to let them go.  But then, God didn’t ask our permission.  He just made it clear that though the mountains are removed, His love is faithful still (Isaiah 54:10), and that He wants us to “let go of loved ones”, to be willing for God to rearrange our lives His way, to seek to be that kind of person so large that we are a boundary marker for where life really is, like Larry and Sandy have been for us all.

On Seeing Alike

Did you ever wonder if people are seeing things the same way you see them?  I mean, when I see a daffodil, I recognize it as a daffodil.  You see a daffodil, and you recognize it as a yellow, spring flower, too.  Only, do we see the same thing in the same way, or when I see round, yellow and points, you see square but know it as round, red, but call it yellow, or blunt ends but know it as pointed.  Do we see the same thing the same way, even though we know it as the same thing?  And, is the way you see the right way, or is the way I see the right way?

It gets even more complicated in daily conversation.  How do we know that what I mean by money is what you think of when you think of “money”?  We could be talking about different things altogether, like saving and spending are different, but both are about money.  We wind up thinking we are on the same page, when actually we are in entirely different chapters.

           

Think about “normal”.  “Normal” to me is conflict, criticism, and disrespect.  While I try not to engage in them, I tolerate them as normal, and put up with them, sometimes not even seeing conflict and disrespect for what they are.  However, conflict, criticism, and disrespect may be abnormal to another person.  They won’t tolerate it because it is not “normal.”  Abuse is like that—what’s abusive for our culture may be perfectly acceptable (and “normal”) in another culture (a few years ago a friend from a culture where it was normal to “discipline” the wife with a beating, “disciplined” his American wife.  The marriage dissolved because the wife, being from an American culture, didn’t tolerate it).

           

This is why when we read the Bible, we must recognize we read it through the lens of our culture.  Consequently, we skim over what was remarkable and a huge departure for the original readers.  In so doing, we miss what it really means because it is not as much a departure from our culture.  Take what Paul and Peter said about how a husband treats a wife in Ephesians 5 and 1 Peter 3.  Some say they were out of step with modern life because they say a woman follows.  We don’t see how out of step it was to insist that if the Holy Spirit ran your life, you would treat the wife as valuable (1 Peter 3:7) and worthy of serving, sacrificing, and even dying for (Ephesians 5:25ff).  Our culture sees all individuals as valuable and worthy of respect.  We see that as normal, but the Bible sees it as remarkable and abnormal—Spirit driven.  When seen against the backdrop of New Testament culture, what the Bible says about women is revolutionary. 

Of course, when you’ve been married long enough for the honeymoon to be over, and you start taking your spouse (husband or wife) for granted, these New Testament commands and perspectives might be just as revolutionary.  Maybe these commands are really daffodils—it doesn’t matter what we actually see.  What matters is that it is a

miracle of God!